It's a new year, and God has been telling me for weeks that 2017 would bring new seasons. And there was not much waiting. When He meant in 2017 apparently He really meant starting in 2017. They day Ben went back to work after the holidays in America was the day that everything changed. They were taking away piece work (which is what made the job a well paying job), no longer paying for drive time and firing people for no apparent reason...oh and the owner has a law suit now making it two of the higher ups going to jail for crimes. Ben and I were flustered but knew that was God's way of redirecting us. I really do believe you are calling us to start up his carpentry business. We will need your favor for it to succeed but we trust you in it. I believe the unreal amount of interest people have expressed on the FC page is just one of the many signs of you guiding us in that direction... So much unknown and yet that creates the perfect opportunity to COMPLETELY lean on YOU! Lean into your Grace, your comfort, your love and your PROVISION.
Unknowns have always been scary for me. Moving to Canada then opened up a whole of of fear because everything was unknown. However, this time when a whole new can of unknowns are being opened, I'm nervous and yet leaning stronger into the Lord. It all is scary but it's also a great adventure. Ben and I didn't feel called for him to be in that job forever, and this is God beginning our adventures into more of what He has called of us. We are not in control of having enough money to get by now, or to travel; God is. He has to be the one to send clients our way. We have to do our part of course but it's ultimately God who is in charge of this all.
I have also realised how selfish I am. I find it hard to surrender the things that I want. I want to buy lots of pretty decorations and continue renovating our house so it can look the way we want it to (and no longer like its stuck in the 70s). I want to buy things that I want or nice food for us. Truth is it may not always be like that.... I realised I have no idea how my schooling is going to fit into what God has called us to. I'm not sure what He wants me to get and I am too afraid to ask if He even wants me to go to school at all. Truth is I WANT to go to school. I love learning, it gives me an identity of some sort, it could help me feel trained to do things in this world....But what if that's not what God desires? What if He wants to be the one to train me? I want to be an independent women, one who can bring about success and change...can that really be done without a college degree? In theory, of course it can!! I know that, but when I apply it to my own life... I am not to sure... And what type of degree would even train me and prepare me for what I am going to do in life? Can I even get that here? And will I be here long enough to complete it? How will we pay for it?
These are all the things I give to you Father, I know that I have a selfless man who supports me and empowers me and you are calling him into new things. A new business in which he is scared out of his whits and needs my support. He has sacrificed things for me and I know he will only continue to do so. Please Jesus, help me to sacrifice more with joy and with YOUR hope in my heart.
As big of a risk as this is, it's really not in the greater picture. You are in control, you are the one guiding us. This is us chasing the dreams you have put in our heart. Ben starting his business officially opens doors for us to do more missions, be more flexible with traveling. It allows us the flexibility for us to do things that are of greater value. Comfort and complacency are no longer a luxury to us. We are living counter-cultural and trusting you with everything; a part time job for Ben to open up, my immigration status, money for food on the table, paying the bills, travel, car expenses... TO YOU WE GIVE IT ALL. Holding nothing back anymore Lord.
